Eber: Abolish Thanksgiving

Did I hear a CNN anchor, maybe it was Don Lemon, say that those that eat white meat from a turkey are racists?  He did say that all when you find a white person, you find a terrorist.  That confuses me—his significant OTHER is white—so does Lemon live with a known terrorist?

Of course if you mention the pilgrims, you are a racist—remember in school you are taught came over on the Mayflower to do in the Native Americans, not to come here for religious freedom.

Watching the news on TV is a joke.  Listening to a “history” lesson that is politically correct is a danger to our future.  But, this begins the Holiday Season.  Thanksgiving is a time for families and friends.  We are a Blessed and with all the yelling and shouting, sometimes we forget that fact.  Enjoy this satirical article by my great friend Rich Eber—and enjoy Thanksgiving.

turkey

Abolish Thanksgiving by Richard Eber

Richard Eber, California Political News and Views,  11/21/18

Things have become so politically correct that progressives are trying to change traditional red, white, and blue holiday’s to conform to their enlightened views.  Several years ago they were able in some regions to abolish Columbus Day and change it to Indigenous People’s Day.

The Italian Explorer, who is credited with discovering America, is not the only one facing scrutiny from the left. George Washington and Thomas Jefferson now have their heads on the block for being slave owners in the 18th century.  The author of the Declaration of Independence and third President is also facing sexual harassment charges because of positive DNA tests from some of the ancestors of women who lived on his plantation.

In the Progressive world of Gavin Newsom (except for cheating on his wife) Kamala Harris, Kevin De Leon and the rest of the “me to” crowd, one violation of unwanted sexual attention is unacceptable even if it occurred over 250 years ago. No one is immune from scrutiny in the Marxist PC world these hero’s of social justice are trying to create.

Their latest target is the traditional American Holiday of Thanksgiving.  Gavin Newsom, in one of his first acts of becoming Governor, is rumored to having K1-12 history books rewritten to literally eliminate the Fathers of Our Country, Instead, these heroes of the Revolution are to be replaced with better role models. What transpired on Plymouth Rock in 1621 is alleged to be first on his hit list.

According to PC logic, celebrating Thanksgiving should be discouraged. Among the most disturbing parts of this holiday are:

  • The Mayflower sailing vessel, under the command of Captain Christopher Jones, that delivered the Pilgrims to America was built by scab labor In the Harwich shipyard. Those who constructed this vessel worked 12 hour days without receiving overtime pay or suitable tea breaks.
  • The Mayflower Compact which allowed the Pilgrims to colonize America did not give a dime to the Wampanoag Indians for the right to settle in the new world nor did they pay rent to the local Indian tribes for use of their property. Leftist historians believe this was a worse deal than the Indians received trading Manhattan for $24.00 of worthless trinkets.
  • The crew of Mayflower was not given sex education, counseling, or STD prevention courses prior to setting foot on American soil. As a result they endangered the lives of Native Americans by spreading disease among them.

Once established the colonists encouraged global warming as the weather was always cold where they settled in New England.  Whatever they tried, apparently did not work as their dreams of growing citrus fruits were never realized.

The Pilgrims tricked the Indians to help them do manual labor in building the colonies infrastructure.  This might account how the Native American’s close ancestor Senator Elizabeth Warren (D Massachusetts) became so antagonistic against those folks who don’t share her socialistic vision.

The Pilgrims were insensitive for failing to construct gender neutral toilet facilities.  Restroom choice was not offered new settlers and to their Indian associates. It is rumored the expression “I don’t give a ?hit!” was used to denigrate workers who disagreed with their unfair potty rules

In addition critics point out Women had no rights to own property, vote, or be part of the decision making process of the early settlers.  One PC historian commented, “Women were exploited and had to conform to the wishes of their husbands.  They were forced to get married and have children right after puberty never being allowed to utter the magic words “just say no”. How can we celebrate this oppressive anti “Me To” culture and call it Thanksgiving?”

Talking about the fourth Thursday of November, this holiday, according to critics is mired by distasteful traditions including tomato aspic rings, green jello, and over cooked Kentucky Wonder beans drowned with cans of cream of mushroom soup.

At the first Thanksgiving, it is difficult to overlook the fact that the Turkey’s were not humanely slaughtered. Animal rights advocates contend that birds never received counseling prior to having their necks severed. Even worse the turkeys were cruelly crowded into Teepees ; thus did not reside in a humane cage free environment.

If the Plymouth Colony was to conform to current California health laws, use of Turkey would have been  banned and some other dishes invented to utilize cranberry sauce.

And there was this thing about Pilgrims preferring white meat versus dark on their Thanksgiving tables.  As a result the Indians had to consume the legs and the thighs to appease the oppressive English palette. This later resulted in turkeys being bred to produce more white meat than dark.  This act Progressives of today allege constituted “White Privilege” and was a racist act that deserves a prominent location in Hillary Clinton’s “Basket of Deplorables”

Trying to get beyond the Thanksgiving banquet that historically has created gluttony, the Pilgrims declined to offer their people decent vegan alternatives. Health experts don’t believe double portions of sweet potatoes, hominy, and pumpkin pie provided enough proper nutrition for the occasion.

Glutton Free and organic did not exist thus Progressives of today will give them a pass as GMO vegetable seeds weren’t invented.   Besides, the Indians used corn meal as a sensible alternative to wheat flour.

One huge sticking point today against the Thanksgiving Holiday is the leftist dislike for the religious ceremonies the Pilgrims attached to the first celebration in 1621. Praying and giving thanks to God were an important part of this first American holiday. Liberal Democrats of today object to having such traditions attached to the occasion as their socialist beliefs discourage folks from believing in higher authorities than the central government.

In later years Thanksgiving has been used as a platform to celebrate a military victory, end a draught, or other favorable events such as the recent Democratic takeover of the House of Representatives.  Because of this, we cannot expect Progressives to completely abandon this popular American Holiday, even if they will need to be civil to their less liberal relatives.

We can expect in future years increased emphasis on parades, football, and consumption of large volumes of Bud Light.  If God desires to intervene, the NFL can always fix the outcome of the Detroit game allowing  the Lions to win occasionally on Turkey Day

The PC culture will triumph once again.

About Stephen Frank

Stephen Frank is the publisher and editor of California Political News and Views. He speaks all over California and appears as a guest on several radio shows each week. He has also served as a guest host on radio talk shows. He is a fulltime political consultant.