Silly Time in Hollywood: ‘Oscars’ Changes Name To More Gender-Neutral ‘Jessies’

The “Oscars” are Sunday night, but since white males who have had sex are not wanted at the event, I will protest and not watch—there is a marathon of NCIS re-runs instead.  Hollywood has disinvited the winner of the Best Actor Award last year, Casey Affleck, he would normally have presented the Best Actress award this year.  But, someone no one knows or remembers, without any proof made scandalous comments about him—so he is no longer welcomed in Hollywood.

So in the spirit of bigotry and wanting to show there are NO sexes, the “Oscars have been renamed “The Jessies”.  A sexless name that a boy, girl or someone who hasn’t decided yet to go the full mutilation route can accept without tearing down the ceremony.  We have seen the NFL, Olympics, Golden Globe ratings all go down big time.  I suspect the Jessies will also lose a lot of viewers—after all, how many times can we watch a Bernie Sanderista/Hate America/Love Illegal aliens rally?  What will you be watching Sunday?

Oh, while this is satire, for now, Hollywood may actually do this—after all, they can not be supporting males, even in name only.

While James Franco is no longer welcomed at the Jessies, I bet Bill Clinton would be welcomed with open arms!  After all which Hollywood star would not want to be abused by him?


‘Oscars’ Changes Name To More Gender-Neutral ‘Jessies’

Babylon Bee,  2/28/18


LOS ANGELES, CA—Responding to the rapidly changing cultural tide, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announced Wednesday, just days before its 90th annual Academy Awards, that the event known as the “Oscars” has been rebranded and would henceforth be known as the more gender-neutral “Jessies.”

“We’ve got enough on our plates already—we don’t want to be perpetuating the Patriarchy on top of everything else,” AMPAS president John Bailey told reporters at a press conference announcing the change. “‘Jessies’ has a nice ring to it anyway. ‘Oscar’ makes people think of a grouchy, trash-can-dwelling monster, or a quiet Dunder Mifflin accountant.”

“Jessies” reportedly narrowly beat out “Caseys” and “Jackies” as the new name.

According to Bailey, they will also be creating new, “less masculine” trophies for next year’s Jessies, as they didn’t leave themselves enough time to have them designed and finished for this year’s event. Pressed about specifying the sexual orientation of the new “Jessie” mascot, he abruptly ended the press conference and fled the scene.

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Stephen Frank is the publisher and editor of California Political News and Views. He speaks all over California and appears as a guest on several radio shows each week. He has also served as a guest host on radio talk shows. He is a fulltime political consultant.