The Cain – Kopechne Ticket

Like trout rising to a cheese ball, the liberal media and feminazi coven have gone on their search and destroy mission against the latest conservative front-runner Herman Cain. So far it has been a lot of search and very little destroy, as polls show Cain gaining support in the wake of the media lynch mob.

Anita Hill must have been busy still examining coke cans for signs of stray follicles, as the media has had to rely on mainly anonymous allegations of vague, nonspecific charges of “sexual harassment” by mostly hidden accusers. That is thoroughly predictable and frankly unremarkable.

What I find remarkable about the brouhaha so far has been the failure of the GOP to hit out of the ballpark this fat, slow pitch the media delivered squarely over the plate. Republicans are once again living up to their reputation as the stupid party.

In a perfect world I would have been in charge of the GOP response, if I do say so myself and I just did. Here’s what would have happened, irrespective and totally separate from whatever response the Cain campaign made.

The nano-second after the allegations were made by the Democrat Party’s sock puppet website Politico, I would have found friendly reporters to locate Bill Clinton and ask him for his reaction to the charges. They would have asked the only President to be disbarred if he would advise Cain to tell the truth under oath if he were ever questioned by a grand jury about the matter, or to burn any dresses belonging to the accusers that Cain might have.

I would suggest to Andrew Breitbart that he dispatch a video crew to locate the Secretary of State, and ask if she saw signs of a vast left wing conspiracy at work against Mr. Cain.  One question might be if Mrs. Clinton saw any quantifiable difference between the very specific allegations of rape and physical abuse brought against her husband by several publicly identified women and the charges of “harassment” brought against Cain by largely anonymous sources.

We would of course have had journalists at the inevitable press conference held by Gloria “It’s always all about me” Allred.  Ms. Allred would have been reminded of the words she spoke about Bill Clinton after Kathleen Willey accused him of groping her in the Oval Office. Clinton, she said,  “is not guilty of sexual harassment. He is accused of having made a gross, dumb and reckless pass at a supporter during a low point in his life. . . . In other words, he took ‘no’ for an answer.”  We would ask Gloria to compare and contrast the incidents and point out their differences.

Then onto the hundreds of prominent feminists and Democrats who in 1998 and 1999 insisted that even if all the charges against Bill Clinton were true (which it would appear was the case), and even if he committed perjury before a grand jury (which was most definitely the case), “it was all about sex”, and had no bearing on his ability to be President.  Just for fun we might visit the offices of MoveOn.org and ask if they thought it was time to move on from the silly allegations against Cain as after all, it’s all about sex.

The piece de resistance (for UCLA grads that means the “best part” or “highlight”) of the response would be a visit to Hyannis Port.  Assuming we could find a Kennedy sober enough to answer, we’d ask the dissolute descendants of Camelot to expound on the difference between conduct that makes a woman feel uncomfortable and conduct that abandons her to drown in the backseat of a car.  Just for grins we might print up some “Cain – Kopechne 2012” bumper stickers and leave them at the front desk of the National Press Club in Washington, D.C and at the Kennedy School of Mis-Government at Harvard..

This is not rocket science folks. It’s called, or used to be called, hard nosed politics. If any – let alone all – of the above had happened in the last ten days I guarantee you that the media, Democrats and women-of-the-fevered-brow would have lost interest in the Cain matter. That none of it has happened shows that the GOP still is playing by Marquis of Queensbury rules while our opponents continue their efforts to gut our best and brightest.

Newt Gingrich, showing again why he would be a formidable nominee, is the only GOP candidate who has hit back at the press on this matter.  The rest of the field has run for the high grass, the exception being Michelle Bachmann who tried to score political points with the media by criticizing Cain’s response to the allegations. Shame on her for giving aid and comfort to the enemy.

We are in a deadly serious, perhaps existential contest for the future of our country.  The full apparatus of the left knows this. It is not coincidence that they have tried to destroy first Palin, then Bachmann, then Perry and now Cain. Enough!  It is time to bloody some noses and put the left on notice that we shall fight for every inch of political turf. It’s time to remind the American people that nobody drowned at the National Restaurant Association.

(William E. Saracino is a member of California Political Review’s editorial board.)